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Feherty being Feherty
David Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer who finds very unique, colorful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind. Below are some great quotes form this candid guy…..
“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”
“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”
“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife.” Truth hurts
On his decision to give up his playing career in favor of a microphone:
“When CBS came to me and asked me to do on-course commentary, I said, ‘You know, I’m only 37, I still have hopes of [playing] a little better.’ So they told me what they were going to pay me, and I said, ‘You want to buy a set of clubs?”
On giving up alcohol:
“I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge.”
On McCord’s recent revelation, at the annual JCC Sports Awards banquet in Vancouver, that Tiger Woods’ caddie Steve Williams and Feherty often try to outdo one another on the course in the area of flatulence, Feherty said:
“Tiger is no slouch himself: He can lay ’em down like a crop duster.”
On Gary Player’s unsubstantiated suggestion last year about use of performance-enhancing drugs in pro golf:
“Gary thinks he invented fitness because he used to do pushups on the airplane. He’s just upset because you can’t win a major any more with a low, flat hook and a Napoleon complex.”
On the 14 years since CBS colleague Gary McCord was banned from the Masters:
“They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head.”
I can play on the PGA Tour
Maybe not, but watching Rory McIlroy and Kevin Na blow up recently on one hole sure makes me say…..”I can do that”. I can shank a drive left into the trees, and then have it ricochet off a tree and land in between two cabins, then chip out, miss the green on the approach, try to chip over a tree but instead hit it, chip on, and two put for a triple bogey……piece of cake…..where is my tour card? Everyone in the world had to be thinking this same thing, right? Us amateurs all experience something similar a couple of times a season, and it just makes you feel at peace when you see it happen to the pros. I can’t tell you though how bad I felt for Rory. You could just see the destruction on his face and in his body language during and after his debacle on the 10th hole at the Masters at Augusta National. Nothing a bottle of Irish Whiskey can’t wash away for the 21 year old.
Kevin Na’s situation at the Valero Texas open at TPC San Antonio – AT&T Oaks Course, was a little different for me because if that is where my drive ended up, I would have laughed, picked my ball up and dropped it in the rough and taken a stroke. Now I don’t want anyone to think that I’m a cheater, but let’s be honest, unless you are playing for money (which I normally am), there is no reason I should pretend I’m Paul Bunyan and hack away in the trees. That would just ruin my round and I don’t pay $85, or whatever to putz around in the forest. I do take the game very seriously, and think I am a very moral person, but come on. Re-tee a 3rd time, or drop and take another stroke. But I digress. Kevin Na did take it like a man and with the utmost class.
As tough as it was to watch these two professional golfers unravel, I have to say it makes me feel good. It shows the true side of golf, and the pure fact that the game is cruel, and things like this happen to everyone whether you’re a scratch golfer or a 15 handicap. In the end it doesn’t matter because we will be out there the next day doing it all over again. This is why I love the game, it’s like dating a woman….frustrating as all hell, enjoyable at times (or always), and we are always willing to play!!
Tee it Up!
CHICAGO GOLF CENTRAL 